”I have found the paradox that if I love until it hurts, then there is no hurt, but only more love.” ~ Mother Teresa
I have found comfort in loving unconditionally, in enjoying people around me without labeling them. Don’t imagine I have ruled out judging whatsoever, and I am this tranquil, almost unearthly being that never gets mad. No. I’m quite a volcano. I live my feelings intensely, but to the best of my ability, I try to see THE BEST PART. In anything. I try to enjoy the things/people/events around me. Without judging them or telling myself I would rather be somewhere else. To the best of my ability, I try not to have any expectations of people, and I hardly put any pressure on myself. I always think ~ THIS IS HAPPENING FOR A REASON, AND WHATEVER THE REASON MAY BE IS UNIMPORTANT, THE IMPORTANT THING IS, IT IS IN MY BEST INTEREST~.
I have started being brutally honest. Not afraid to hide my good feelings. I tell people how I feel about them, because I never look for a reaction on their part. It’s just something I feel and I let them know. I have stopped planning out what I would like to hear or have happen. Because in the end, it never turns out like you scripted in your mind.
I’m honestly in love. But I honestly don’t care if something comes of it. I’m also very fortunate for the people in my life. Yesterday, one of the women I have been admiring for a very long time, has been so kind to invite me to meet her. I felt so many things, I never even thought I would have this chance. She is this wonderful, creative, positive, beautiful, succesful woman, and an image I aspire to, a source of constant inspiration for so many people, and I am fortunate enough to be given the opportunity to meet her for real. I can’t thank her enough, I think my reply was the shortest one ever to her invitation, because so many things had been running through my mind, that was the only way I knew how to keep my answer coherent. People do surprise you. Because they are amazing in their essence.
Someone who has closely become a good friend, is Jennifer Crestol, and even to this day I thank my lucky stars, that the universe arranged things to such a manner that I could befriend this woman. Because she teaches me so much and she is utterly fabulous. And humble. She behaves like there is no difference between the two of us. Even though she has experienced, seen, done things that are so out my reach it’s an event just being able to talk to her. But she’s never let me feel that way. Sigh, I’m so grateful and lucky for her.
I’m also lucky to know a man, in a high-end position to be arrogant, or whimsical. Yet he’s listened to me even as he was working, he’s taken care of me when I felt sad, and has brought a smile to my face with his great sense of humour. He’s let me play. He’s accepted and tolerated my childish nature. SO I LOVE him for it. I admire him so deeply, for all the energy he invests in his work, for all the times he’s been more than kind to me. For becoming my friend.
People have amazed me. They have not let me down once.That’s the thing when you have no expectations, people can only surprise you. Like the friend that spoilt me this weekend. The life he leads would put him in such a position to intimidate. People know and fear him. Yet he’s done nothing but be good to me, so I don’t judge the rest, it is not my place.
Mhmm…I am more than excited to see where I go next. My present is a gift I have. A gift that keeps creating love and boundless gratitude. So, I wish you guys, less expectations. More fulfillment in the joy that is now, already available, in you. Stillness.
A quiet mind and a serene soul. Light, love and gratitude