Roxana DIY

1. Washing machine broken. Stare at it two hours and hope positive energy fixes it.

2. Bulb in bathroom keeps dropping out-of-place and hanging by its wire in front of the mirror. Use postage brown thick scotch tape and tape it back to its place. Heat burns through plastic of the tape, hence, I have a hanging bulb.

3. Wash all clothes together for a faster and more optimal result. Like the same ugly brownish colour on all clothes, regardless of their original one.

4. Try to fix a dress by cutting it. Short always looks better right? Yeah, when you cut in a straight line.

5. Try to cook chicken in microwave. Invade house with horrible smell. Stick to salads.

6. Clothes not entirely dry after a week out in the sun. Wear them, body heat dries nicely. Spend 2 days swearing at myself that I got a huge cold after.

7. Leave house keys with friend sleeping over, to return them back later during the day. Returning time comes, friend cannot be reached on any device. Imagine yourself calling landlord, shudder and start praying.

8. Forget phone in cab. Get home, realise you’ve lost it and don’t have where from to call cab company.

9. Get hit by a car, fly through air, land. First thing: Check if any nails broken. Second: post on facebook.

10. Accept to go out with a guy. Get to designated place with him and realise it’s a family function where he is introducing you as his girlfriend, everyone oohhing and aahhing and I’m asking myself if I didn’t get the memo…

11. Take out all your salary in cash. Go to supermarket get wallet stolen along with cash flow from boss. Call boss, and inform him that whatever his reaction to the situation is, he still needs to keep you working for him so you can pay him back.

12. Iron clothes, burn a huge hole in plastic shirt. Iron no longer works as plastic melted on it, so ruin another two shirts by smudging burnt plastic on them, while trying to iron. Buy non iron clothes.

 

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