My mother’s words:” In fact it isn’t even him, but it is his ego, your ego…what you perceive. Accept everything and let it pass through you. Put out positive energy and compassion to this man. There is no him to remember…it’s just part of the illusion.” 

True. I don’t want to do drama anymore, the drama everyone seems so willing to do. The mind stuff. The asking of the questions. The pointless ups and downs. That’s when I know it’s not meant to be. But still I dwell in it. And then…then comes that moment of crystal clarity, where you see the truth in all nakedness. The moment you realise it was a figment of your imagination. The moment you very easily let go,:)

Life is amazing and full of opportunity, but I understand people want their lives difficult. They want to be the centre of attention, they want to be special, they want to be someone. I don’t believe in all this. I believe we are all the same, our choices are different. I believe in creation and abundance instead of lacking and counting loss. I’m tempted to say  that people often misread me, but I know that’s just my ego talking. 

I have come to understand that I always create exactly what I want, down to the t. Problem is, life isn’t about getting what you want, which is why, in the moment you finally receive it, the realisation that there is no improvement or change within yourself hits you… and your mind asks silly questions…Why? Because the ego is NEVER satisfied. It just keeps running after something else. It needs a problem, it feeds off a flaw, it needs to fix or mend something. The ego cannot accept things they way they are.It would die. The identity it tried so hard to build, years and years of investitions of hanging one to dreams, ideals, problems, issues…that would dissipate if it had nothing to do. Nothing to prove. Nothing to change.

I am thankful. My ego is quiet most of the time. I am honest always. And somehow, while everything is spinning madly around me, while egoes fight and chatter on, I remain constant, loving and happy. There are times, fleeting for the moment, where I am imperturbable. I am grateful to be lucky enough to experience this. 

I am lucky to find a lot of love within myself, and grateful to share it. Lucky to build on it. Amazed at the abundance of it.


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