I feel:
As though I want to break down.
Unhinge.
Cry in this warm night.
I feel like I want to smother
Every little piece of what was.
I feel I can let go.
And I feel like I want.
And I need.
And I don’t know.
Terrified to release
but it’s scarier to hold on.
So.I wish I could breakdown.
Let out everything inside.
the words sit on the tip of my tongue
the ones that run inside me
every time I want to let them out.
Expel them.
I’m suffocated
by every gush that
comes back in…
and I feel less alive in every piece
of what I used to be.
And I know
I’ve done this so many times before
And I know
I can birth and create.
I know what lies in me.
I know the substance
And the love that I muster
in every suffocation of my soul.
Just as I know this part is amiss.
the end of the slope
and the last part of ego
cries of terror that are not mine,
but his.
So I will breakdown.
Unhinge.
Release.
I will create from inside my words,
putting judgements aside
and color the lines that constrict.
and with the end of a smile
I come undone. Release.
And Forgive.
