There are times in our lives when we feel angry. Anger might come out for different reasons: we feel wronged, not appreciated, treated unfairly, unjust, cruel… it happens, and the reason why it happens, does not matter.
Anger is just trapped energy, and it can be converted into constructive energy.
We should acknowledge that anger is never coming from one source, and there are deeper and underlying feelings behind the current situation.
Usually, we become angry because we have suppressed our feelings for a long while, we have either not spoken up or have not dealt with an issue, expecting it to resolve on its own. Patience is a good thing, but there are times where you have to discern between having patience with a situation and taking assertive action to prevent a problem before it begins. I haven’t figured this part out myself yet. 🙂
Being angry is fine. Taking action while being angry is not. You are less inclined to think clearly or to find a solution to what you are facing. You are more inclined to prove something from an ego point of view. .
No situation is as dramatic as you feel it in that said moment. More often, it is a wide circle of interpretations and pent-up frustrations which surface as anger. Allow yourself to be angry, it’s ok. Don’t give yourself reasons, just allow yourself to feel what you feel. You will see your anger subsides. Be compassionate about the way you feel. Have patience with yourself. Don’t try to prove anything to anyone in that moment. Don’t make the problem about others, leave it with yourself.
To be able to release your anger, you have to hold yourself accountable for the events going on in your life. Remember, the world is unpredictable, but everything that happens in your life is a result of how YOU deal with the events that are on-going in it.
So, slow down. Take responsibility. Don’t beat yourself up over it, just allow yourself to understand that maybe you have not handled things in the right manner. It’s not the end of the world.
Nobody is born with experience, so a part of our life is about chaotically experimenting and seeing where it leads us. The more we grow, the more we understand that some things must be dealt with in a certain way, if we want to avoid certain complications. e.g. Maybe as a youngster you thought you had to please everyone to make friends. As you get older you realise being true to yourself is more important, as it will get you the right friends.
I say take responsibility for your current anger/situation because if you are blaming anyone else, you can’t fix it. You are denying yourself the opportunity of solving your issue, because you are too busy putting it in a place that you can’t control.
I say don’t beat yourself over it because we live, we learn…we are not born with the tools to handle all situations the way they should be handled.
Do not mistake your anger for your identity, because it will make you take things personally, irrationally, instead of looking at the facts.
eg. Your employer has put a lot of pressure, responsibility and work on your shoulders, for the same salary.
You may become angry, as you believe that it would have been deserved to receive a different salary package. You feel unappreciated, misunderstood and frustrated.
Still, you never spoke up about it. If your anger becomes your identity, you will take it personally. You could quit just to prove that you are irreplaceable( but nothing is in life). You are now out of a job, with a bruised ego.
Or, you could calm down and look at the facts, it may just be that your employer’s financial situation is not permitting them to increase your wage, but you may discuss on how to manage the workload and what other benefits they could provide you with so that you are comfortable with the change. That is the difference.
Sometimes, we need to get angry in order to be able to surpass our own beliefs. Maybe you would have never spoken up about something if you wouldn’t have been pushed by your anger first. That is the conversion of destructive anger into constructive anger
Life is about perception. Reality is a perception of our individual experiences, beliefs and identities. Therefore, reality is very relative. Use it to your advantage. Treat everything as an experience, not as permanent and absolute. Embrace your feelings, they are just a tiny part of you. Embrace the fact that you have all the freedom you want, if you allow yourself to.
So, all in all, be angry, but make sure you don’t hurt yourself while feeling it. Have the love and respect to yourself to turn it into something constructive.