The dream

Anyone who knows me has long understood that in my head I am a princess ruling her own pink-bubble-kingdom, where fairies are real and Princes are found on Tinder, people are amazing and life always acts in our best interest.

Anyone who knows me is also acquainted with the fact that I am completely deaf and blind to negative aspects of it and that is mainly because I believe I have this superpower to choose how to see the world, and because of it I always use it to view the world in a more than positive light.

It has dawned on me long ago that romantic movies might be one of the factors to blame for the preconceived notions we have about human interaction, which in its essence is pretty simple.

Let’s use the example we often come across in movies:

Boy likes girl.

Girl likes boy.

Boy breaks her heart.

Boy realises he was wrong.

Girl sees that boy regrets actions.

Girl is mad at him.

Boy apologises.

Girl takes him back.

Que the tears.

I may be trivialising a lot of human behavioural patterns but the reality is, the facts are laid out on the table. People that truly are compatible with you will not hurt you.

If we just remove the misunderstood notion of Hollywood romance from the above, nobody would be chasing anyone anymore.

No, the bad boy isn’t attractive because he is macho, it is the appeal that if he might fall in love with you and then he’d be a personal trophy and testament to your powers of seduction. We place so much ego in our relationships that we forget to be genuine.

The dream is simple, we want to be unguarded. Free. We expect of ourselves to live with integrity in a manner that supports our own ideals of who we want to be and the persons we look to grow into. But very often our actions oppose that very expectation.

We chase people that are not good for us, we belittle our potential in order to fit in with other people, we sell out the genuine us for the people-pleasing copy. Then, unexpectedly, we find ourselves living in a state of frustration over being so dedicated to effort to be who we are not.

Unguarded. Once in a while chance meets with opportunity and a person so compatible with you appears that unguarded becomes a form of freedom that encompasses understanding, affection, trust, respect, integrity and unparalleled openness to this individual. This is when the genuine part of you realises, ah wow, it’s really that simple, you just have to be yourself.

I would guess that this is what people refer to as soul mates and although it has little to do with the soul, whose existence is debatable like most other commonly used romantic notions, it does have a lot to do with mates. With a partnership form that is commonly implied and mutually understood even if not enforced in any way. Unguarded. Free, compatible, effortless and genuine. Disney was right all along, the world is made of rainbows and unicorns and Princes are found on Tinder. It was Hollywood that complicated it all.

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